We’ve Moved!!!

Over the weekend Child Perspective moved to its new virtual home.

The address will still look the same to you, but you might need to update your RSS feed, caches, and bookmarks (depending on how you find me). This move will allow me to grow the business, so stay tuned for some new developments.

Come check it out. I’m still unpacking, painting, and decorating. I’d love to hear your feedback – critical or complimentary!


Leave a comment

Filed under Parenting with Zing!

. . . and everything changes

leaning couple

Having a baby changes everything. Even your politics, says the National Science Foundation. Apparently moms become more left-leaning while dads tend more to the right.

As if there weren’t enough built in to the parenting structure to illuminate our differences?

Remember those post-baby days when you swore you wouldn’t let that small bundle change your life and ways? How quickly did you disprove that?

Share a quick thought – a haiku, if you wish – on a way you have changed since becoming a parent.

Leave a comment

Filed under Parenting with Zing!

Bedtime Breathing

Here is a fun exercise that your kids will love! You might too.

Bedtime Breathing

by the Sleep Fairy

Teach your child the value of controlled, slow breathing. It’s an easy relaxation technique they’ll be able to use on their own.

Breathe slowly and deeply, in… and out…

Breathe in calm and happy, breathe out worries.

Breathe in warm sunshine, breathe out stale air.

Make up your own:

Breathe in Grandma love, breathe out grand-daughter love.

Breathe in wild flowers, breathe out lazy rainy days.

Breathing out doesn’t always have to be the negative, we are filled with all sorts of positive things to release into the world!

Let your mind wander, you are on your way to dreamland anyway so go ahead and free associate. And breathe, breathe, breathe…

More from the Quiet Night, Happy Night series:

1 Comment

Filed under Parenting with Zing!

Calm Yourself to Calm Your Kids

Ever wonder why your kids seem to flip out on days that are already stressful? It can feel spiteful. Like they are out to get you.

But in those glorious moments of sanity, we know that’s not the case. It has more to do with science and child development than spite.

babyYou see, every child is highly attuned to her parent’s mood and energy, beginning before birth. Before the autonomic nervous system has developed, the baby looks to her primary caregiver for cues on her emotional state (arousal, recuperation, fight or flight, etc). This is a biological instinct that allows the child to develop a unique bond with her parents. This bond continues to develop as the relationship evolves, leaving children deeply tuned in to our energy and moods.

So, when a reader recently described this very thing, I was delighted.

One thing that helped me when I used to snuggle with my son to help him to go to sleep was breathing as if I were sleeping, a bit exaggerated, slow and deep.

Yes! That’s another example of how children’s autonomic nervous system is still developing.

This slow, deep breathing is a favorite stand-by in our house too. It’s super effective!  Especially compared to the nights when I would anxiously count down the minutes til they fell asleep with the long to-do list scrolling in my mind. My kids seemed to stay awake longer!

In fact, I would have the opposite result when I completely relaxed my mind and body. The process of relaxing myself simultaneously soothed whichever child I was snuggling.They would also fall into a deep, relaxed place where they quickly drifted off to sleep.

Try it out. Bedtime might turn enjoyable again. Let us know.

Participate in the bedtime series- Quiet Night, Happy Night – by telling us about your night time rituals. I do not post daily, so subscribe by RSS feed or email to follow the conversation.

More from the Quiet Night, Happy Night series:


Filed under Nighttime Parenting, Parenting with Zing!

Is Separation Anxiety Causing Unrest?

Separation anxiety is relatively predictable and recognizable in young ones but can catch you by surprise in older children. Young or old, it can cause great unrest during the night, whether it is putting your child to sleep or middle of the night waking.


A little about separation anxiety:

New fears and concerns set in once your infant turns 6 months old. Separation anxiety often begins then and might intensify a bit later between 12-18 months. Anxiety peaks in young children coincide with the child’s newfound locomotor independence (crawling or walking). The anxiety is a built-in safety feature ensuring that your child doesn’t just head for the hills.

Is this anxiety creating resistance to falling asleep and leaving you (or you leaving)? Some children will try anything to stay awake and prolong their day with you. For these instances, you have two good options. Try them out and do what works best for you and your child.

  1. Stay present in the room until he falls asleep. Stay calm yet disengaged. You might pretend to sleep if you are snuggling on the bed. If you have a headlamp (found at outdoor recreation stores) or a separate chair, quietly read a book.
  2. Or, leave the room a little before your child falls asleep, under the guise of needing to do something and with the promise of returning soon. He is likely to fall asleep before you return. If not, sit away from the bed for a few minutes before needing to leave again. Slowly, your child will begin to trust that you will return and he will fall asleep instead of waiting.

In addition, try kissing bedtime snuggly objects a bunch in front of your child and explain the kisses will be there all night. Or, put a picture of you or other relative nearby. And/or, play a white noise machine. They do wonders for lulling kids into deep sleep and keeping them there.

What has worked for you and your family? Drop me a line with your current dilemma or solution.

Subscribe with  RSS feed or email to continue to follow the Quiet Night, Happy Night series.


Filed under Nighttime Parenting, Parenting with Zing!

Sleeping Around

I stumbled upon a video today on Juice Box Jungle that relates to the current bedtime series: Quiet Night, Happy Night.

Take 2 minutes to check it out and then come back to write your comments. Your reactions will help guide the rest of the series. I will be addressing separation anxiety, nighttime fears, nutrition, relaxation, and important books pertaining to sleep issues. In the meantime, subscribe by  RSS feed or email to follow the conversation and Quiet Night, Happy Night series.

First part of Quiet Night, Happy Night series:

1 Comment

Filed under Nighttime Parenting, Parenting with Zing!

Lowering the Child’s Bedroom

Your application of the many tips in the Quiet Night, Happy Night series will be most successful if you first consider the bedroom. These excerpts were originally from Kid-Friendly Bedroom, which was part of the Child-Friendly House series.

Spend some time sitting in your child’s room and looking at it through the child’s perspective. Apply these general questions to the bedroom:

  1. Is the space simple, clean, and beautiful?
  2. Is it peaceful and serene or busy and stimulating?
  3. Does your child enjoy being in her room during the normal activities of the day?
  4. Are items (books, toys, clothing) thoughtfully organized for the child?
  5. Can your child complete age appropriate tasks independently? Bedroom tasks might include: dressing, putting away clothes, making bed, putting dirty clothes in a laundry hamper?
  6. Can your child access age appropriate activities independently?

child-friendly bedroom

These questions will shed light on whether her bedroom is really her bedroom. The first step to your child feeling comfortable in the space is developing a sense of ownership and control. Your little one loves to have control. Give it to her in the appropriate times and you will battle less. Guaranteed!

Making the bedroom her bedroom:

  • Encourage your child’s comfort and independence in her room during the daytime.
  • Provide easy access to the essentials (bed, clothes, books, toys)
  • Invite her participation in creating a desirable space.
  • Play music and have a dance party in there.
  • Create happy memories in the bedroom (fun and relaxing).

Let’s look at the specifics:


Can your child get in and out of bed independently? Consider placing a small futon or mattress on the floor, even for a baby. It will be just the right height for your child to get in and out of independently when she is old enough to move around. This is true for all furniture, try to offer something child-size. Once you have made the bedroom safe, it is more interesting to move about it freely rather than be confined to a crib. Note: Our babies slept in co-sleepers and then mattresses next to our bed until the early stages of potty-training were complete, then we moved the mattress into their room. It was a smooth and natural transition.


Hang a mirror at eye level for your toddling child or just above the mattress for your infant’s pleasure. Children love to look at themselves and this is age-appropriate and healthy! They are able to learn so many things, including simply being “ready” to go (clean face, combed hair). If your toddler or older child can check her own face and hair, it removes you from a possible battle. Just encourage her to look carefully in the mirror to see if she is ready to go. Another step toward independence.

Do you have beautiful art hanging in your child’s room? Take advantage of the young child’s extreme sensitivity and expose her to beautiful art (focus on art with other children, animals, or nature and avoid popular media images). Hang these at eye-level, to help strengthen her sense of belonging and inclusion.

What else can you do to create a comfortable sleeping environment for your child?

Because this is not a daily blog, subscribe by  RSS feed or email to follow the conversation and Quiet Night, Happy Night series.

Other posts in this series:


Filed under child-friendly house, Nighttime Parenting, Parenting with Zing!